Denver, Drugs, and Music

Source: (Pexels)

        The man, the myth, the legend DJ Calculations Of here. I wanted to talk a little about DRUGS. Drugs and the music I make, EDM go hand in hand. In the days of disco and now drugs have always been around. Ecstasy, Acid, Mushrooms, and a couple other drugs are quite common at these events. I myself have used these drugs several times in the past, and it has been detrimental to my growth as a musician & as a person. Before I get into my time in Denver, CO I'd like to say I still believe marijuana is a great alternative to pain medications and should be legal. 

        I often refer to my time in Denver as my “wild boy” phase. I kind of was a scumbag of a person. The people that I lived with weren't really good influences, and I wasn't one to them. I had this mindset of “go hard, go home” (which often met do a bunch of drugs/don't be ashamed of it). We often went to shows and used drugs recreational. After a while it seemed like a necessity to have these drugs to have fun, or just get through the day. I'd be lying if I said I didn't have fun, and wanted to take them myself.

Source: (Pexels)

        I was depressed due to not being further in my career, and tons of other things. So guess what I did to make me feel better/numb? Drugs. They made my attitude sporadic, gave me a sense of impending doom, and made me unhealthy. There were several times I think we should have overdoes to be honest. I saw a picture of what I looked like when I was in Denver compared to now, and it is night and day. It was insane the amount we were taking just between 2-3 people.

        What turned me off to the whole “wild boy” phase were several things. One, I realized I was always single because I wanted to get high. I'd miss all “the signs”. Because of this I probably blew several chances to be in relationships with amazing women. I also couldn't focus and create music at 100 percent. I was operating at probably like 10%. I would be further in my career if I was clean then. Because I was always getting tore up I felt like I missed out on some amazing friendships. I would get so depressed, and really become dissociative. Some of the various stuff we'd take would just make you miserable afterwards. To combat that I'd isolate myself, and I'd bury myself in work or misery.

Source: (Pexels)

        The final straw for me to leave all of that behind was one day I came back from god knows where, and I saw some girl strung out on our stairs. Her friends really didn't do much for her because they were too busy roofie-ing (roofies) themselves. Something in me was just disgusted with myself, and everything. So I left. I just decided to leave abruptly. I've been told by my REAL friends they were disappointed by my sudden departure, but I knew I needed to leave the situation immediately. I couldn't speak to the people I lived with after this moment of clarity.

        Thank god I have some amazing friends. I called them up saying I needed to leave crying (my parents did actually ask me if I needed to leave a couple weeks earlier, but I was too stubborn and I couldn't think clearly enough to say yes). They bought me a flight out the very next day. I cleared out of that apartment and never looked back. I still talk to my REAL friends from there, but there's several I will never speak to again probably. They're still up to no good, and shoving god knows what up their nose. I might have the occasional drink in the future, but for now I'm good with my V8 and apple juice. Moral of the story don't do drugs kids.